What to do when it all falls apart when you least expect it…….
These photos were taken a few months ago during tulip season at Araluen Botanical Park.
I’ve had to wait until the weather was cool enough before I could post this outfit. It’s supposed to be autumn in Perth but it’s been feeling like summer….even in March. It’s finally starting to cool down at night now. This lightweight duster coat from BC The Label is the perfect transeasonal piece as it starts to cool. It’s way too light for winter but it’s the perfect cover up for cool nights in spring and autumn.
I bought this duster coat after seeing Jessica Alba rock this Narcisso Rodriquez coat. How amazing does the coral look against her olive complexion!
Jessica Alba is going for a sophisticated New Yorker look here. I’ve decided to play with proportion and styled my duster coat with a matching blouse of the same colour and denim shorts from Nasty Gal. As for the shoes, I’ve chosen to to dress the look up with Sophia Webster inspired heels. I love how the coral trench contrasts with the shoe’s fushcia and green colours.
Most of the time, I am a very calm, stable and kept together person. But, all of last week, I was on an emotional roller coaster. My emotions were running so high and low all week and on Sunday at church, I ended up having a bit of a meltdown. I seriously lost my s***. I couldn’t stop crying….snot and all (nice one Jo!!)
And the worst part was that I could not explain why.
Why was this happening to me?
“When a girl cries, it’s not usually over one thing. It’s built up anger and emotions that she’s been holding in for too long”.
Sometimes you just need a good cry. Even if you don’t know the reason why you’re crying.
A lot of the time, I have a lot of trouble expressing my feelings to friends and loved ones. I believe the term for this is called Alexithymia – the “inability to describe emotions verbally”. Most of the time, I suppress all my emotions in, feeling numb to any kind of pain.
A good friend told me that it is good to practice self awareness – which is not the same as being self absorbed. Looking within, I think I was getting really worn out by my blogging insecurities, stress at work, loneliness and other personal things. The honeymoon period of starting a new blog is over and now I feel the pressure that I should be better. But by whose standards?
Getting into the whole Instagram numbers game can be depressing at times. I see people unfollow me – some who have even met me in person and it started getting to me.
– Does my blog suck?
– Do I suck?
– Are people judging me right now?
– Why are my own friends not supporting me in this?
Wait. Time to step right back. I’m better than this. I should know better than to be looking for validation from others. After all, didn’t I start this blog as a platform for self expression and to remain true to myself? To share the things I love?
I’ve had to let go of what’s been consuming me – all that anger and my old ways of thinking. It’s time to be inspired and to fall in love again.
Taking it a day at a time for the challenges that await me…….along with the good that is coming too.
“Don’t forget that you’re human. It’s okay to have a meltdown. Just don’t unpack and live there. Cry it out and then refocus on where you are headed.”
“Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in awhile, so that we can see life with a clearer view again.”